


he wouldn't leave me

by captainhurricane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Heavy Angst, Longing, M/M, Nightmares, S3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 13:38:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhurricane/pseuds/captainhurricane
Summary: Sometimes Keith dreams. Sometimes he stays awake and still can't tell what's real.





	he wouldn't leave me

The first time Keith has the nightmare- as far as he remembers- is when he’s alone in his shack. He can’t focus on his roommates, his fellow recruits or the ache in his bones from the day’s training. There’s only him, only the wind and the sand and the bone-deep sadness so it’s not a surprise when his dream shifts into a nightmare.

_In it, the shack is still the same but the day outside is bright. Keith is writing, he can’t quite make out the words even as his hand writes them but they’re important words, that much he knows._

_“Keith?”  
_

_The pen drops. His chair screeches. What? How?_

_The door opens._

_Of course it’s Shiro, it’s always Shiro. Shiro like he had never left: black hair, Garrison uniform, the softest little smile that he never gave to anyone but Keith._

_Keith stands up, hands shaking, knees trembling._

_“Shiro?”  
_

_Shiro’s smile widens. “Hey there, Keith. I heard you were living in here now so I came back. Just for you.”_

_Keith takes a step closer. The day turns into night. Shiro parts his lips to reveal teeth, the gentleness of his eyes turning into an unfamiliar burning yellow._

_“Just for you, sweetheart. Aren’t you happy to see me?”  
_

Keith wakes up sweaty and uncomfortable and his heart thuds and thuds and thuds and thuds.

The very same day Shiro does return: a little more broken than before, but no less gentle, no less kind. Keith forgets the nightmare. Dreams never had any point to him anyway.

x

He has the same kind of a dream again: just a few times. Always the same Shiro: smiling, loving, tall and handsome like nothing  bad had ever happened and he had just gone out for a stroll. Always the same ending: elongated teeth, burning eyes, mocking voice. 

Always the same sort of a morning: Keith spotting Shiro in the dining room or the deck and freezing, expecting Shiro to turn and laugh at him for aching so. 

But Shiro never does. Shiro always turns, always tilts his head a little to the side and murmurs a soft good morning.

It’s just a dream, right? 

It’s just a nightmare, right? 

x

The nightmare comes again when Shiro vanishes. This time it doesn’t even pretend to be anything but what it is. This time, it’s Galra-yellow eyes and a burning metal hand against Keith, this time it’s Shiro’s laughter in his ears straight from the beginning.

_“Your boy is dead dead dead dead.”_

_“No, he-”  
_

_“He died whimpering and screaming on an operating table. Gold star boy, he was never really a match for blades and monsters, wasn’t he? How long did you dream about him coming back to you? Who would come back for a fucking hot mess like you?”  
_

_“He wouldn’t, wouldn’t leave m-”  
_

_“Even as he lay dying, drowning in his blood, I think he was happy to be rid of you. You know he told us how you followed him during your school days, right? You know how he told us that he only obliged you out of kindness? You know he didn’t really give a shit about you?”_

This time Keith wakes up sobbing.

This time he tells no one. He dodges Pidge’s narrowed eyes, Hunk’s offered shoulder, even Lance’s jokes. He dodges and pushes onwards. He breaks a little and has never felt this brittle. 

x

Then Shiro is found and Keith is no longer lost.

Then everything is fine, right? 

Even though Shiro smiles just a little different. Even though Shiro behaves just a little different. Even though the seat underneath Keith should be Shiro’s. Even though their entire team is chaos. 

Even though the universe itself pushes and crushes them and chokes the life out of them. Even though Keith’s nightmares intensify until he moves to another corner of the castle so no one can hear him screaming.

Even though when he walks to the deck and sees that broad back and everything just a bit wonky. This Shiro is familiar enough to feel safe, familiar enough to feel trustworthy.

But Keith looks at him, the longer he looks at him and something in him whispers it isn’t him, it isn’t him,  _it isn’t him._

**Author's Note:**

> @ writers meet me in the fucking pit
> 
> also when will Shiro get a fucking break  
> also what the fu ck 
> 
> all the Shiros, all the time


End file.
